Congratulations, you’re finally a dad.
You now have a newborn baby boy or girl in your life and now that it is a reality, a sudden wave of fear and apprehension may have come over you and the stress of “Will I be a good father” are hitting home.
Well first off just relax. Take a deep breath and don’t start stressing over things that are not in your control. When men become a father for the first time, they sometimes feel that they are helpless to do anything or will be placed in a world that is alien to them.
Mainly I am talking about changing diapers, feeding the baby, making sure that you don’t leave them on the hood of the car when taking them to the grocery store and many other situations.
For the first few days of being a father you just need to focus on enjoying the moment and let the rest fall into place.
What Does It Mean To Be a Father?
Being a father basically means that you are now responsible for the life of your new child and seeing that you instill the values that you live by.
You are also required to stand up for your family and ensure that they are taken care of physically, emotionally and financially.
It is a shame that in today’s society that so many fathers desert their families or refuse to take responsibility. What it means to be a father is to be someone who is there for their family and not someone who runs and hides.
When you are a father, you need to put your family first. Now I know that there are always situations where you can’t get along with the mother or perhaps you did something wrong in the past where the relationship has gone wrong, but all of these problems are insignificant.
Your only concern should be the relationship you want to build with your child. It is that relationship that you build determines the success or failure of fatherhood.
Step 1 – Start Early
When you learn that you are going to be a father for the first time you need to start to prepare as early as possible.
When you become a father, you will be required to take on the responsibilities of the household. Your wife will require rest and time to allow her body to heal.
You need to realize that she has gone through nine month of hormone and physical body changes. Then she was required to go through god knows how many hours of labor to birth your child. This stress will tire your wife so you will need to step in.
The best way to accomplish this is to start taking on the chores early on in the pregnancy. This means learning to cook, do the laundry, clean the house and care for your wife’s needs. The sooner you start this, the easier the transition will be when the baby comes.
Step Two – Leave Your World Behind
When it comes to being a father, the life you lived is now over. Now don’t let this depress you or scare you but just be aware of this fact.
When you become a father, you won’t be able to hang out with the boy’s anymore. You will need to be home taking care of your family.
With this being said, you will also need to get time to yourself as well as allow your wife to get time to herself. These moments are needed to help maintain your sanity, physical health, and your relationship.
Allowing your wife to take an uninterrupted bath or go out to lunch with her girlfriends once a week will be a great relief. So learn to schedule time to spend with your baby for some bonding moments.
Step Three – Plan For the Future
When you have a child, you need to understand that they are expensive. They require food, clothing, shelter, entertainment, education and much more.
When you first discover that your wife is pregnant, you will want to talk to several financial advisors to see what investments and long-term strategies you can use to turn your money into a solid foundation for your child.
When it comes to building the foundation to be a successful father it may seem like it is a huge undertaking and that nothing will ever be normal again. If I were to leave you with one piece of advice in this entire book, I would say this.
Let it happen.
Set your foundations and instill your guidance. From there it is the child’s duties to grow and learn. If you can do this, then you have the foundation to be a successful father.